“From ‘What’s Wrong With Me?’ to ‘How Does My Brain Work?’”
For years, I thought everything I was experiencing was anxiety, OCD, depression, intrusive thoughts or simply me not coping very well and genuinely not being able to 'get it together'. I had no idea I was neurodivergent. It hadn't ever crossed my mind!
I thought the constant thought loops and fast thinking in my head were anxiety. I thought the exhaustion, hypervigilance, restlessness, difficulty sleeping, struggling to focus and finding basic everyday tasks so hard were all separate mental health difficulties.
I had absolutely no idea ADHD could be so internal.
I didn’t know ADHD could look like a brain that never really switches off; constant noise, fast thoughts, internal restlessness, overthinking everything, jumping between ideas, struggling to regulate attention, finding it hard to start or finish things and feeling exhausted while still being unable to properly rest.
For years I went through therapy, CBT, holistic therapies, nutritional approaches, medication and psychiatry. Some of those things helped in different ways, but so much of it was being aimed at the wrong thing entirely because nobody was asking whether my brain might actually work differently.
It felt like I lost years of my life to deep burnout, illness, depression, shutdown and feeling like I simply couldn’t cope with life in the way everyone else seemed to. And ADHD wasn’t the whole picture either. Later came the understanding that I am also autistic and have Tourette Syndrome, dyslexia, dyspraxia and sensory processing difficulties - alongside OCD and anxiety.
Receiving those diagnoses was a lot to process. There was sadness for the younger version of me who had been trying so unbelievably hard without understanding why everything felt so difficult, and sadness for the years spent believing there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
But there was also an incredible amount of validation. Validation for who I am, for why certain things have always been harder, and for the fact that my brain and nervous system genuinely experience the world differently.
That understanding changed the way I looked at myself. My compassion for myself grew substantially and, instead of constantly asking, “How do I make myself function like everyone else?”, I started asking different questions.
How does my brain actually work? What does my nervous system need? What environments help me function? What expectations am I forcing myself into that simply don’t fit? What would life look like if I worked with my brain instead of constantly fighting against it?
That was a completely different lens, and it changed so much.
I’m writing this during because October is ADHD Awareness Month and because ADHD is not a trend or a myth, and I don’t believe the conversation should simply be reduced to whether ADHD is “overdiagnosed”.
For many people, diagnosis comes after years, sometimes decades, of struggling without understanding why. ADHD can affect education, work, relationships, parenting, finances, sleep, emotional regulation, executive functioning, self-esteem and the ability to manage everyday life. For some people, it can be profoundly debilitating.
Early recognition matters. Education matters. Support matters. Understanding matters.
And this is one of the biggest reasons I built Flourish With Neurodiversity.
So many neurodivergent adults arrive at support having spent years asking, “What is wrong with me?” I want to help people move towards a different question: “How does my brain actually work, and how can I build a life that works with it?”
That, for me, is what neuroaffirming support is really about. Not fixing people or forcing neurodivergent people to function more neurotypically, but understanding the person, their brain, their nervous system, their sensory needs, their executive functioning, their capacity and their environment, and finding ways of living that are actually sustainable.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Explore AuDHD and Then Some for relatable support, resources and real-life understanding of neurodivergent life.
