The Dentist, My Nervous System, and the Very Real Aftermath of ‘Just an Appointment.
At AuDHD and Then Some, I try to share my actual, everyday lived experience of living with AuDHD and Tourettes Syndrome.
Not the polished ‘look at me being productive’ version. Not the version where I magically sail through life with colour-coded planners, perfectly regulated emotions and a handbag full of strategies that always work.
I mean the real version.
The version where something that might look tiny from the outside, like going to the dentist, but can quietly use up an enormous amount of energy behind the scenes.
Sometimes we carry guilt and shame around things that other people see as simple. We wonder why an appointment wipes us out. Why we need the rest of the day (or week) to recover. Why a task that took an hour seems to consume all our brain power, social energy and sensory tolerance.
But as I’ve learnt more about myself, I have learn that needing recovery is okay and I don’t need to be like everyone else, because I am not everyone else! This doesn’t mean I’m not capable. It means my nervous system has been doing a lot.
Particularly after dentist appointments!
Dentist appointments are basically a sensory onslaught.
There is anxiety. There is uncertainty. There is the waiting room, where time goes weirdly slow and every minute feels like twenty. There are uncomfortable noises, bright lights, people looking at you, being touched and not just gentle touch - but touching and pulling at your face, having instructions given while your mouth is occupied, and not always knowing what will happen next.
Will it hurt? Will it be quick? Will they explain things? Will they tell you before they do something? Will the overhead light cause me to tic?
For someone with AuDHD and/or Tourettes, all of this can add up quickly.
And honestly, it is not only dentist appointments. It can be any appointment where you have to leave your familiar environment, interact with people, cope with sensory input, manage social expectations and deal with unpredictability.
A nail appointment, for example, might sound relaxing to some people. But if someone is touching your hands, chatting continuously, using strong-smelling products, turning on bright lights and expecting you to sit still for an hour? That can take a huge toll on your nervous system.
Appointments often come with a particularly sneaky side effect too: appointment waiting mode.
If you know, you know!
You have an appointment at 3pm, so your brain decides that the entire day is now unusable. You cannot properly start anything because you have an appointment later, even if this appointment is only for 5 minutes. Your body is already preparing. Your thoughts are looping. You might check the clock every five minutes. You might rehearse what you need to say. You might worry about being late, getting lost, forgetting something, saying the wrong thing or having a surprise change to the plan.
By the time the actual appointment begins, you may already be exhausted.
When Tourette’s is added into the mix, anxiety can bring another layer of challenge.
Anxiety is one of my main tic triggers. So when my nervous system is stressed, alert and trying very hard to scan for danger, even when I logically know I am safe, my tics can increase too.
That can feel frustrating, especially in environments where you may already feel exposed or self-conscious. But tics are not something I need to apologise for.
They are part of how my body responds when things feel intense.
For many neurodivergent people, the hardest part is not always the appointment itself. Sometimes it is the aftermath.
The delayed, giant wave.
You might get home and suddenly feel completely flattened. Brain fog may arrive making your brain feel like mushy peas. Your sensory tolerance may disappear. You may feel emotionally fragile, extra anxious, overstimulated or unable to make decisions. Tics might become more frequent or intense. Even simple things such as replying to a message, choosing dinner, making conversation or hearing the kettle boil, can suddenly feel like too much.
And that is not because you have overreacted.
It is because your system has spent time coping, masking, processing, anticipating, responding, regulating and surviving a lot of input.
So, what can help?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer, because every person has different needs. But here are a few things that may make appointments feel a little more manageable:
Wear sensory headphones and listen to familiar music while waiting, where possible.
Write down important information beforehand, including anything you want to ask, explain or remember.
Choose a familiar dentist, clinician or support person when you can.
Book an early appointment to reduce appointment waiting mode and stop anxiety building all day.
Let the team know what you are worried about. You do not need to give your entire life story; even a simple I get anxious with unexpected changes can help.
Agree on a hand signal so you can pause at any point.
Change professional if they repeatedly make you feel uncomfortable or dismissed.
Build in buffer time before and after appointments.
Plan sensory decompression afterwards, rather than expecting yourself to bounce straight back into normal life.
For me, recovery after an anxious appointment can look very glamorous.
By glamorous, I mean: pyjamas on immediately. Hair pulled back with a headband. Minimal talking. Microwave meal for dinner. Lights off. Netflix on. No complicated decisions. No sudden plans. And plenty of cuddles with my little fur baby. 🦮🐶
This is not giving in. This is self care and listening to what my body needs after it has worked incredibly hard.
Most importantly, please remember this: you are in control of your care. You are allowed to express your needs, preferences and boundaries. You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to bring support. You are allowed to say, I need more explanation, or Can we slow down? or That does not work for me.
You deserve care that recognises your needs, respects your nervous system and gives you enough space to feel safe.
And if today’s big achievement was simply making it to an appointment and recovering afterwards, that still counts.
Actually, it counts a lot. 💜
